Arranging a trip to the water park for a toddler and a seven year old really is a feat, keeping the toddler from falling down face first in the water or falling off the little bridges over the streams, while making sure the seven year old doesn't fall of the giant swing and says sorry when he scares a timid preschooler, remember snacks, and sunscreen, and water bottles, and towels, and a blanket to sit on. I know, it's tedious reading this, it's tedious having to type it. But while you're day dreamy type keeping your brain trained on these tasks really is a feat. But I digress, back to 'his life is boring'.
At this point, it tell yourself, that seven year olds live in the moment, and can't be expected to comprehend or be sensitive to the work you put into making sure he has fun and is happy. Stifle your hurt feelings, they are valid, but holding onto them will only make you miserable.
While your hungry one year old baby mills around your feet, and you are making pizza as a welcome home treat for the "neglected and miserable" seven year old, decide to make the banana bread. Preheat the oven to 350.
This will be a fun thing you can do together with the aformentioned neglected child that you will enjoy doing together.
I promise, there's a recipe in here, but you won't be able to enjoy the banana bread if you aren't entirely emotionally present, you must bring yourself to a place of ultimate receptivity, like bringing milk almost to the boil, or heating butter so sugar will melt right into it.
Give the seven year old five bananas, a fork and a mixing bowl. Tell him to peel and smush the bananas in the bowl. Admire his way of delicately picking the strings of the peel off of the bananas. Think how amazing it is that he is such a complex person, so into basketball and mud and Captain underpants stories, but careful, and overjoyed to find a bouquet of fake flowers at a thrift store. Fall head over heels in love while watching him, think your heart might explode.
Give him two eggs to add to the bananas. One must roll off of the counter onto the floor. Scramble to get the egg off the floor before the baby gets into it.
Put the pizza into the oven. Feel bad for the baby, who remains hungry and is kvetching now. Give him a handful of blueberries from the fridge on a little dish so he can watch you and his big brother make banana bread and have a snack. Think he is adorable sitting feet crossed on the floor taking each individual blueberry, concentrating singularly on each one, watching his big brother with such a look of wonder, like he is the worlds biggest super-hero ever. EVER.
Put the timer on for the pizza. You have forgotten way to many pizzas in the oven when distracted by a weed in the garden that needs pulling, or a messy living room that needs tidying, or the ever enticing Facebook.
Ask the seven year old to get the bag of flour from the cupboard and the measuring cup from the baking drawer. Once the scooping of flour is first attempted, become aware that a much larger process than first anticipated is involved at this stage. The markers on the cup must be inspected and discussed, the flour must be measured and remeasured. Think it is neat how day to day experiences make such great learning tools. Wish whole heartedly, like princesses wish for princes, that you could afford to send him to Montessori, where he could learn at his own pace, in a way that makes sense. Put that thought out of your head, it doesn't serve to focus on it, but you won't be able to get it out of your heart.
Throw a teaspoon full of baking soda in the bowl nonchalantly, if the flour process is any indicator, inserting a teaspoon in a small box and extricating a small amount of fine white powder might take three years. Also, while you're at it, scoop out some olive oil margarine, around three quarters of a cup.
The recipe from the internet calls for a cup of brown sugar, but skip this so the kids can eat it for breakfast without becoming giant diabetic monsters later in life.
Instruct seven year old to mush this all around. After half-heartedly stabbing a fork around in the mush he will claim he is too tired. Wonder about his lack of dedication and follow-through. Worry that this will impact him later in life. Wonder if you are instilling a good work ethic. Disregard neurotic thoughts and stir batter because it is boring,, and he doesn't feel like it. And who really cares anyway.
The timer will beep now, so take the pizza out of the oven. Let it cool down on the counter for a while. What do a toddler and a seven year old need with boiling hot cheese?
Once the batter is well mixed, add some fruit. The fresh fruit should be just gently-barely mixed in so it doesn't get bashed to pieces. Ask the seven year old what fruit should be added to this glorious mix. Raisins, currants, blueberries?
In our case, the seven year old chose mangos and blueberries. Follow the lead of your seven year old. Because children feel good about themselves when their opinion is listened to.
Add about two cups of fruit. I added two handfuls of fresh blueberries and the flesh of one mango.
Put the mixture in a bunt pan. Because bunt pans are symbolic of suburbia, and good motherhood and good house-keeping, and wholesomeness, and you want to feel like somehow you are part of that world.
Remember that you need a pizza knife. add it to the list of things in your head that you need, even though you can't afford anything. But know that somehow everything always works out, but that at the moment you really have no idea how it ever could.
Set the timer on the over for 55 minutes. It's a long time, but banana breads take a long time. That's just how it is.
Eat the pizza with your children. Talk about your days. When the baby has finished eating, vacuum him with the vacuum cleaner which has now found a permanent home in the dining room. Just the vacuum hose part, not the big head part, don't traumatize the kid! Watch him giggle as you vacuum his hair and fingers. Watch chunks of dough and salami go flying up the tube. Marvel at the ridiculous cost of food, and that it seems half of your income gets immediately donated to the grocery store as soon as you get it.
Begin the seemingly mythically endless daily process that is: bedtime. Complete bubble baths and hair washings and pajama wranglings and cover the baby's window with a black out curtain. He must be convinced that the day has ended and night has descended and no options exist now but sleep. Wonder at is beautiful little hands, that he explores the world with these tiny hands, so meticulous and curious. Feel honored to be near him.
At this time you must devise a plan to spend time with the seven year old who has been away at a family vacation, and who you have missed and who you want to sit down in the quiet of the evening with and just hang out. Figure on eating the banana bread with him at this time. The fruits of your intertwined labors. When toddler baby is sleeping adorably go downstairs to share this big idea of togetherness with seven year old.
But, to your surprise you will find, that life strangely takes turns when you have laid out paths in your head. Seven year old will meet you with odd emotional fits and tearful almost tantrum, where the TV remote will be half-flung at the cabinet and you will be left to stand somewhat stunned and genuinely fed up. Remember now, he is emotional, he misses his grandparents and cousins, and too young to know how to express himself in a way that isn't totally stupid. Decide at this moment that children should be indulged to act childish sometimes.Take him upstairs to cuddle before bed.
First the buzzer on the oven will tell you that the banana bread is done. Turn off the oven and leave it in there. Deal with it later.
At this time realize that this trip has allowed him some time apart from you, and that without being able to really articulate how or why, that somehow it has helped him kind of thrust forward into a new stage of separation and independence. That he is awkwardly telling you this with his flailing about and complaints. Know this, but don't know how you know it. Remind ourself that you have to allow him to separate, it's natural, but it hurts. Remind yourself to give him space to grow when he needs to.
After you have tucked him in and kissed his infuriating face, go downstairs to the quiet of you house, wash the dishes, half-heartedly clean up the kitchen. Wash the tray from the baby's high-chair. Take the banana bread out of the oven.
Take a piece out and eat it in the kitchen standing up and leaning against the counter. The fresh fruit will burst in little chunks of glory, the bread will be sweet and warm. It will be intense and amazing, you will love it.
Lift it out of the bunt pan and place it on a pretty plate. The next morning the baby will wake up at some ridiculous hour and after changing a diaper and wandering somewhat tiredly down stairs , you will share some for breakfast, and it will be awesome then too.
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